Moral Obligation?

Yesterday in my Gender class, a student asked me whether I thought that a transgendered person has a moral obligation to disclose that he or she has had sexual reassignment surgery. Wow! What a question!

This sparked much debate in the classroom to say the very least! The person that asked the question thought it would be terrible to find out after falling in love that his girlfriend used to be a man. His biggest issue with all of it was to find out that the person he thought of as a woman, was incapable of bearing children. Then the issue came up about general male expectations and stereotypes…that most men would be freaked out to find out their girlfriend used to be a male.

Most women would too, but women tend to be more gender flexible.

Do you remember the movies “Crying Game” and “Boys Don’t Cry”? Well, it didn’t go over too well when each of the main characters came out or were found out. People don’t like to be deceived especially on that level. And a lot of men really have trouble with issues surrounding masculinity.

It also seems to be a difficult concept to grasp; one’s mind not agreeing with what they see when they look down. How can that happen? Can’t therapy help? They are just confused. Well…research shows that therapy can’t help and that it may happen during a hormone release in fetal development. They aren’t just confused.

How do we help these folks? Be supportive and even if we don’t understand, be tolerant. We would want the same if we were facing some confusing personal issues.

The class agreed as a whole, that yes, there is a moral obligation to disclose that

kind of information. The class, however, could not agree as to what point one should disclose that information…other than not on the first date!

The Power of Women's Groups

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Why are you a boy/girl?

How much influence does your mother have over your gender-identity development and personality? Well, it depends on who you ask. There are theorists out there who say that she is a major contributor and others who say not so much.

If I think back to my childhood and all the influences my twin brother and I experienced in relation to gender-identity development, I would say that our environment played a key role in reinforcing gender-stereotypic behavior. From as far back as I can remember, my brother was “conditioned” to be a boy and I was “conditioned” to be a girl. Even the chores we were assigned as little kids reinforced the stereotypical gender roles; He took the trash out and I did the dishes.

Not that there was anything wrong with that. I do think, however, how important it is for everyone to be exposed to non-traditional gender-stereotypical chores! What I mean is that we should all be encouraged to try different activities whether they are male or female labeled. That way, as individuals, we can learn what we like from our own experiences not those that are dictated by our society based on gender norms.

I really can’t blame my mother for who I’ve become…gender or personality. Darn it! I wanted to blame someone!

How did gender stereotypes influence how you were raised?

Gender Differences in IQ?

Are there gender differences in IQ? It’s pretty interesting that we as a society really focus on gender-appropriate intellect. “What does that mean?” you ask. Just that, in general, our society believes that men are smarter when it comes to math and women are smarter when it comes to verbal intelligence. Why is this?

Think back to elementary school…I know…for some of us it was longer ago than for others! I’m going to focus on the boys-are-better-at-math theory (because I’m a female). This was a time when our mathematical abilities were pretty similar across the gender board (check the research yourself!) BUT! Our teachers frequently placed different expectations on our math ability based on that gender.

We were led to believe that boys would need math in their careers and girls wouldn’t, so it was important that boys pay attention and learn math. Girls, go ahead and write your short stories. This led to a greater emphasis on boys learning math. Huh…funny how that works. It was now tied into their futures so it became important to them. Boys also had the math advantage because they had the math confidence that came from the expectation that they would do well because boys do better in math. See what I mean? Do you see where I’m going with this? Something just doesn’t seem right here. Hmmm…

Let’s move onto high school where these same expectations continued… now we begin to see significant differences in mathematical performance. But….why is this? Is it really a genetic difference that’s the cause of these differences? Or is it a difference created by societal expectations? Why can’t girls do just as well in math as boys?

I really do wonder if I could go back in time (no! I’m not going to tell you how far back!) when I was in elementary school…What would my life be like today if I had the expectation placed on me that ‘of course you will do well in math!’ ‘Why wouldn’t you?’ If nothing else, my statistics classes would have been more fun and far less anxiety provoking!

What were your math-gender experiences?

Nice Girls

Do nice girls always finish last? It’s a pretty common female characteristic that we want to be liked, so we’re nice to people that we don’t necessarily really like ourselves. Now, I’m not saying that we are all nice, just that there are those of us who are sometimes too nice.

Considering that I work in the social services field, it’s actually pretty common to come across this type. And to be one. I believe that’s why I will never be a great boss. I think I’m tough, but I’m really not. I do believe I’m a leader, but not necessarily a good manager of others. When it comes down to it, I do want to be liked…and I think that good managers don’t worry about that aspect. Hell! I can’t even train my damn dog! Because he’s so cute, I find it impossible to consistently discipline him. Did I mention how cute he is?

Why do we care? Is it something that is innate? Are we taught to worry about such things? Is it just women or do men worry about being liked as much as we do?

I remember being around 6 years old and the little girl down the street had a birthday party and didn’t invite me. Well…what did I do? I put on a party dress, wrapped up one of my dolls that I thought she’d like and I went to her party anyway! It didn’t matter that we weren’t that good of friends; she was going to like me whether she wanted to or not!

What are your thoughts?

Cross-Dressers

You’re a cross-dresser? So, that means that you are gay. Right? How does your family feel about it? Do you always dress like that? What do your co-workers think? When did you start? Well….these were just some of the questions presented to the cross-dressing panel yesterday in my Psychology of Gender class.

The panel consisted of two male cross-dressers (Natalie and Darlene) and the wife (Michelle) of one of them. They all came dressed as women and you would never know that Darlene was a man. She dresses as a woman almost 85% of the time and Natalie only dresses up on occasion. Natalie is committed to her wife, Michelle, of over 30 years and she only found out that her husband is a cross-dresser a little over a year ago. Their children do not know. There is much secrecy in the world of a cross-dresser and with good reason.

Numerous misconceptions exist about the cross-dressing community. Interestingly enough, most of us do know someone who is a cross-dresser; we just don’t know that we know. Since they are not greeted with open arms in our society, many if not most tend to be very secretive and go to great lengths to protect their anonymity. Most of them are not gay. Most of them are not sexually aroused by wearing women’s clothing. The majority, however, are middle-aged heterosexual married men. Many dress for comfort or because they want the opportunity to express their feminine side.

This trio was very comfortable being themselves walking across a college campus and as a panel in front of students greatly varying in age, experience and tolerance. To my pleasant surprise, every student asked questions and they did so with great respect. There was no snickering, just curiosity. I accomplished what I had set out to do and that was to expose students to diversity; to people that they would not ordinarily get a chance to know anything about. Excellent!