The Importance of Girlfriends

I attended a self-esteem workshop for women last night, not as a participant, but as an observer because I had numerous clients attending and I wanted to see what it was all about. I was amazed.

First of all, I was pleased to see that it was not a feminist-driven workshop. It really did focus on your own "shit" and that it was up to you to turn it around. Secondly, it was so empowering giving the participants the tools necessary to start changing how they view themselves. It's not up to anyone else; you have to work at it and figure out what works for you.

One of the primary focuses was about how women loose their voices because of family and societal expectations placed on us... we can't be loud because we are supposed to speak softly; if we are aggressive we are bitches; if we are athletic we must be dikes; we are supposed to want to be mothers and wives and if we don’t, well, we just don’t fit in now do we?

If we don't fit into these expectations and choose to live outside the female box, we are often times ostracized and have difficulty finding our niche. One of the biggest challenges we face as women is staying true to ourselves especially when we are in a relationship. That is where even the strongest of women tend to give up pieces of who they are because that's what we are supposed to do.

Think back to elementary school...it was fairly egalitarian. Now think about junior high...this is where we started to shift our focus away from our girlfriends onto the boys. It became a competitive world out there with our sisters. We wanted the boys! And that girl wearing those tight jeans was no longer our friend but our competition. Slut!

See how easy it is to start being petty rather than sisterly? Thank goodness that I am in a time in my life where I truly value the friendship and support of my sisters. I don't feel the need to compete anymore, so now I can focus on how important those relationships with women really are to me.

Did you know that having a good support system in place is one of the top factors contributing to mental well-being? Let go of the competitions and return to a place that’s warm, kind and supportive. Take time to join a women’s group, whether it’s a soft-ball team, a knitting group or a book club. Go out there and find out what you can get from being connected to other women.

Don’t go ditching your men though! They play just as important of a role in our lives. This is just a gentle reminder to stay connected to your girl posse!